Have you been bullied?

Bullying has become an increasing problem in schools today and is becoming more of a topic as awareness is being raised. It is shocking to look at the teen suicide rate and school shootings often related to bullying. Unfortunately this does not always end on the school ground, but can continue at universities, offices, friendship circles or even at home with parents. Sometimes we don't even need a second person in the equation, we just bully ourselves with our harsh thoughts or critical attitudes. 

Bullying takes on many forms and you might have been a victim without even realising it. The effects of bullying can break down your character, confidence, steal your joy and often be long-lasting. It is not something to be taken lightly. As adults we can look back and identify how these incidents changed the way that we perceive ourselves. Built-in lies from our childhood play over and over in our heads. Often we are so used to it that we don't even realise that the thought patterns are there.

These lies limit us physically, emotionally and spiritually and instil fear and doubt. It robs us of our childlike courage and determination and it forces us to settle for less. There's nothing worse than settling for less, because you don't think that you are worth more.

But you are valuable! Jesus didn't die on a cross so that you can settle for less and live with a poverty mindset. We are the children of a King and we have a great inheritance. Even though we deserved nothing, He gave us everything by His grace and mercy. We were not created to live downcast lives as per other peoples' opinions. We were created to live life and life in abundance in all the plans that God has for us. Jesus didn't die so that we should be limited. He came to set us free! He came to make us whole. He came to heal our brokenness. He came to teach us who we are in Him and what we can become. We are all unique and beautiful, created, formed and designed for a purpose beyond our imagination. Jesus takes us places!

He doesn't care what your school bully or friends said. He doesn't care what your mother or father said. He cares about you and values what He thinks about you and knows about you. He needs no second opinion. He knows what He destined you for and no one can take that from you. No one can steal your identity from you if you are rooted in Jesus. He is everything we need to be everything we can be.

I know that those harsh words are painful. I know that they have caused deep wounds and thought patterns, but nothing is too deep for God. Bring these thoughts to Him, bring these hurts to Him. He heals the pain and restores beautifully. You don't need to be anybody else, just be the beautiful you that He created you to be. Don't live according to other peoples' opinions of yourself, get God's opinion and live limitless!

“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7

“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:10

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

PS. If you are a victim, please speak to someone, even though it is hard, please reach out to someone. You might think that no one cares, but believe me, God cares and if He cares then there’s someone else in this world that cares about you and will be willing to help you. He will not let you suffer alone. If you know of someone who is a victim, please reach out to them and support them. Make sure that you do not put yourself in harm’s way, but approach the situation with caution. You might be the only person who knows and cares. There are also help lines which you can phone, including suicide helplines. Please post a comment if you have tips or suggestions. Thank you all!

Photo credit:lurvely

The problem of pain

I don’t think that I have one friend who has not at some stage of in life asked “why?”. Why did this happen? Why does it hurt so much? Many books have been written on pain and suffering and why it exists in the world and I recently read another one. I’m not going to suggest that I have the answer to it all and I’m not sure if anyone really has the perfect answer as each situation is different, but I’m going to offer a thought that will hopefully be encouraging.

When God created man, He gave him free will. We can thus choose to do what we want to do on this earth, but of course carry the consequences as well. God desires to have a real relationship with us and for a relationship to be real there must be a choice to love each other. God did not want to create robots and force them to love Him. God has already shown His love to us, but it is the choice of each person whether or not to reciprocate this love. God took this chance by allowing Jesus to die so that each person can be in a relationship with Him, but God has no guarantee that each person will eventually choose Him and consequently many people has rejected Him.

“but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Rom 5:8

Instead people have chosen to follow their own selfish desires of greed, lust, envy and power leading to betrayal, adultery, anger, murder, oppression, strife, rivalry, slander and any other action imaginable to obtain more of what they desire. God has not made man to be evil, but made man with a choice and whether he chooses good or evil, it’s his choice. Unfortunately every action mentioned above will inflict pain and suffering on a person as a result of someone else’s actions. It was not God’s intention to expose the world to pain and suffering, but Adam and Eve had a choice and they chose to bring evil into the world by listening to Satan and betraying God.

God cannot just remove evil from the world as this would leave man without free will and choice, but what He can do is send someone who can identify with us in all our pain and suffering and eventually take us to heaven where there are no more tears of pain and suffering. Jesus can identify with each one of us in every way and can comfort us and carry us through any situation. He went through it all so that He can be it all for us in our time of need. There is no pain or suffering that He cannot relate to and He thus knows how you feel.

“For we do not have a high priest (Jesus) who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Romans 4:15-16

Jesus endured the cross in order for Him to become our hope in our darkest hours. God will never leave us or forsake us. Jesus was left alone at the cross, crushed and forsook so that we can never be left alone, crushed or forsaken by God. He has once and for all reconciled us to God and no one can separate us from Him.

Be encouraged and know that God is with you and that Jesus knows exactly what you are going through and He is here to comfort you. He has no intention of leaving you to walk this road on your own even if it means carrying you through the darkest hours. “But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9  

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

Song: You never let go - Matt Redman

Picture credit: smashinghub

When the heart goes numb

Photo credit: vi.sualize.us

I feel today to speak to people who have been hurt. Hurt, shamed, abused or disappointed so much so that a part of your heart has gone numb and you just locked it away in a cold place somewhere where no one can hurt it or see the pain again.

A piece of our heart (an area in our lives) can so easily grow cold and hard. I've been speaking in previous posts about having a willing and open heart towards God, but it is possible to have your heart open to God is some areas, but not in others. It is also possible to have a willing heart towards God, but a cold heart towards certain people.

It might be that someone has hurt, offended or disappointed you and your heart has closed up towards that person or even a group of people. You might have forgiven and tried to forget, but consequently you were left with a piece of your heart numbed. A piece of your heart that got so hurt that you don't want to use it again, because you are not sure how much more you can handle.

You may be in a place where you have lost all hope in a situation and gave up trying. You have locked that area so far away, because you fear that you will feel the pain of disappointment or humiliation again. You fear having another failed or disappointing relationship, friendship, community, health, pregnancy, career, business etc. you fill in the blanks.

I want to tell you today that you are not alone. God knows what you are going through and He knows what you have locked up in your closet. Whatever it is, it is not something that God cannot deal with, it is not something that that He cannot restore completely. He can breathe life into any cold part of your heart and restore your faith, not just your faith in Him, but also your trust in people and in yourself.

You are not a failure, God does not create failures. Bring your broken pieces to Jesus today and He will restore your heart/situation with gentleness and kindness into something even more beautiful. Do not be afraid, you can put your trust in Him and He will never disappoint you. Allow Him to remove that coldness and hurt and bring you to a place of greater joy, freedom and confidence. When we try with Jesus, we can never fail, when we try with Him, we are more than conquerors.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Rom 8:37

“For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in Him will not be put to shame.”” Rom 10:11

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Ps 147:3

“And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Ezekiel 36:26

“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Tim 1:7

“Kings shall be your foster fathers, and their queens your nursing mothers. With their faces to the ground they shall bow down to you, and lick the dust of your feet. Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who wait for me shall not be put to shame.” Isaiah 49:23