Selfishness, you sneaky thing!

Oh the terrible evil! Let me make one thing clear first. There is a difference between selfishness and putting yourself first. In our lives we need to put ourselves first in certain areas to ensure that we are emotionally stable and healthy. We need to look after our bodies and our hearts, if we don't, then we'll lose a part of who we are and we would be less able to successfully support and help someone else. We become thinly spread and at the end drained, tired and unable to motivate ourselves or others. What you need to do to stay emotionally healthy will be different for each person and will need to be a discussion between you and the Holy Spirit.

Selfishness comes in when we put ourselves first at the expense of others. When we become self consumed and blinded to the needs of others. Selfishness is so sneaky, it creeps in so slowly and then before you know, it's all about me and in that moment you see yourself as the victim. If you recognize this behaviour, then a red light should be flashing.

As soon as you start seeing yourself as the victim, everyone else's actions will be amplified and any negative reaction from someone might be experienced as an attack. When selfishness increases, your grace for others start decreasing and soon patience and kindness go out the window. In short, selfishness does not make us more satisfied, it actually makes us unhappier, because it creates an insatiable desire which nothing and no one can still.

So how do we manage the fine line between selfishness and putting ourselves first? Let's ask God to help us define our boundaries clearly and prompt us when we overstep boundaries onto other peoples’ lives in selfishness. Imagine your life as a field, if you keep living on other peoples’ fields then you are stealing from them and being selfish, but if you keep letting others steal from you by allowing them to pitch their tents (needs, desires, opinions) on your field, then you are not looking after yourself enough and you might be burdened and too thinly spread. Ensure that you live comfortably on your field, allowing time for God, loved ones and lots of time to give, love and be loved.

Picture credit: betterbasketballtribe.com

Busy, busy, busy!

Today I was thinking of everything that I need to do tonight. I was thinking of maybe making a list and then also deciding how much work I should do tonight. This keeps my mind super busy. I keep thinking of this and that, this and that and which task is more important etc. I think I feel tired of just thinking of all the things I need to do!

While I was driving I reminded myself that I actually don't NEED to do all the things, I actually just WANT to do all the things. In the process of thinking, I get drained even before I start and then I feel less motivated to start everything which I didn't need to do, but wanted to do in the first place! Ha ha it's actually quite funny how easily we can overload ourselves in our minds without even doing a single thing!

Also while I was driving I spoke to God about all the things I "need" to do and asked Him to help me. Then I realised that I haven't even asked Him what HE wants me to do tonight? In actual fact I'm just placing pressure on myself. So blind! :) So during the rest of my journey home I decided to chat with Him about what He wants me to do and I immediately felt less pressured and more motivated to do the things He highlighted.

I guess when the Bible says: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.", it doesn't mean that I should do everything I want to do (and more) and then expect Him to tag along and give me strength while I burn myself out. :)

So yes, tonight has been quite relaxing actually, although I've been quite productive with Him. Being relaxed and at peace is a state of mind and is not dependent on the circumstances around you, even if you are super busy. Rather be busy with the things God wants you to do and His peace will be in your hearts and you will be relaxed. He knows which responsibilities you have with regards to work, family, friends etc. and He will lead you to finish all you need to do in His perfect timing. People often don't understand when I say that I'm relaxed at work (because my job is very demanding), but being in a relaxed and peaceful state with God keeps me focussed, friendly and calm through all the stressful situations. 

I have often heard people say that BUSY is short for Being Under Satan’s Yoke. Satan tries to keep us so busy that we burnout and lose all our peace and joy. He convinces us in our minds that everything is critical and that everything needs to be done NOW! I know that sometimes something needs to be treated as urgent and I have spent many nights at work working on deadlines, but in each one of those times God was with me and I did it with joy. I was even able to motivate and inspire others working with me. God has a plan all day and every day and He can even make a late night at work a blessed time. Be aware of Satan’s schemes, your time with God is the first thing which he wants to destroy. Ask that God will show you clearly which tasks to do first and ask Him to show you how to do everything to His glory with peace, love and joy.

Do not give up!

Photo credit: sparklingheart

You are just at your end. You don’t know which way next. You hold on, but you struggle and it’s not that you don’t have faith, but you are just tired. You know the miracle is coming, but when? Why is it taking so long? You have no idea and there is nothing you can do about it. It’s not in your hands, it’s out of your control and you feel helpless and discouraged.

“But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.” 1 Kings 19:4-8

Elijah was probably the greatest prophet who ever lived, but still he finds himself in the wilderness asking God to take his life. Ironically Elijah never died, but was taken up to heaven by God before Elisha’s eyes. But at this stage Elijah was at his end, Jezebel wanted to kill him and he fled into the wilderness. He obeyed God, slayed and defeated the priests of Baal and was now suffering persecution because of it. He had no reason to doubt the power of God, as he just saw the power of God in 1 Kings 18, but still he flees to the wilderness as he is the only prophet of God left in the entire Israel.

“There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and He said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He said, “I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” And He said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.  And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?””

Maybe today you are at your end. You don’t know how much longer you can hold on and you are just tired. Can I encourage you today? God is with you wherever life takes you and He will sustain you as He sustained Elijah with food and water. Not just food for your body, but food for your soul and Sprit through His word and His voice. Seek Him. He will give you the strength to go on fighting. He knows where you are at and what you are going through and He is not oblivious to it. His voice is in the whispers and He will lead you through. Even though you do not feel Him, He is definitely there carrying you. Don’t run away, but stay and fight, your victory is around the corner!

“But He answered, “It is written, “Man shall not live by bread alone,
 but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” Matt 4:4

“ And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Gal 6:9

Level burnout!

You might reach a point where you just feel drained and empty. You just feel as if all you are doing is giving, loving and serving, but you get nothing in return. You start feeling irritable and a little resentful towards other people and you might even think that no one really cares about you, but you just have to care for everyone. I will call it the “burnt-out” level. I think this happens to everyone once in a while and we need to learn how to handle it and take preventative action against it.

When we start our relationship with Jesus He expands our hearts. He gives us the ability to have and receive more love, so that we can give more love, it’s pretty simple. The problem is this, we get used to His overflow of love and we start giving more and more love and the people around us get used to taking more love (because we give more). Then suddenly we get busy, we neglect spending time with Jesus, but we still give, give, give, because we are so used to it and it is now part of our nature to give and love. What we do not realise is that we can only give what we have received and if we don’t spend time with Jesus and get refreshed in Him, we will end up with low levels of love and then resentment and irritation sets in and then suddenly everyone becomes too demanding and everything becomes too much for us to handle.

Don’t get me wrong, we have God is us, so we have all the love that we need in us, but spending time in God’s presence activates our love, it reminds us of who God is and how amazingly gracious and lovable He is and then instantly we just feel fabulous again. We feel as if we just want to burst at the seams with love. We realise that we don’t need to be satisfied by the people around us, but that He can satisfy our every need. He makes us feel worthy, appreciated and most of all incredibly loved. This then catapults us into the world to once again give, love and serve with a genuine smile.

It does not mean that we don’t appreciate or need the love and affection of the people around us, it just means that we don’t have to connect our sense of worth to the amount of love and affection that we receive from the world. God will always make us see how much we are worth and how precious we are and this is where our confidence comes from. God’s words to us are life and as children of God our spirits crave His words every day.

“But He answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”” Matt 4:4

Remember to replenish the “love battery” as my friend described it today. Let us ensure that we spend enough time in God’s presence to prevent “level burnout” and this will enable us to constantly be a joy to everyone around us without feeling irritable or empty. You are SO incredibly loved, believe it!

“We love because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19

“This is real love--not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” 1 John 4:10

“Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:1-5